You Should Never see Your boss in a Dressing Gown

Living in a castle

I recently got to stay in a castle whilst working on a Paranormal show and this was defiantly one of the best locations I've ever had to stop in. It appealed to my sense of adventure and my love of history.
It got me thinking about all the accommodation I have been put up in whilst working in TV, and I thought I would carry on the story from last year about the worst place I've ever had to stop.

Apartment with Hidden Compartments

At the castle I was stopping in an apartment, large wood burning stove and my room was in the tower. Stone spiral staircases and a torture chamber and dungeon below. I got to wonder round in my free time and loved the place. The Owner had kitted out the apartment with antiques and curiosities from all over the world from a 17th century paintings to silver victorian Indian rupee tea coasters.

Ouija Board Hidden Away

In the sitting room was a large writing desk and I thought it was just the sort of furniture to have hidden compartments in. And I wasn't wrong I spent one afternoon exploring the furniture and found a number of hidden compartments. On sliding back the central writing block an underneath compartment was revealed containing a ouija board. Adding to the ghost stories of the castle and the fact we were there filming a paranormal show this just added to the adventure. I wasn't the only one to have spent my time searching for hidden compartments as as each one was found it was stuffed full of notes from others who had been just as adventurous. I added my card and now when others go hunting my note will also be there for them to find. This is was a stark contrast to a place I had to spend 3 months living in a few years back.

I was working on an evening observational documentary and based on a military base. Having experience of this life already I knew a little of what to expect but when I was told I was stopping in the Officers Mess I was excited. This was a step up from where I have stopped before and the Officers Mess must be the best on site after all they are officers aren't they.


On the first day after dropping the Presenter at a very nice hotel down the road I returned to base and went to check in. Pulling up outside there is a very grand large long building with stone columns at the door. As I push the heavy door open and walk into the hall the space is bright and clean, its warm and the walls are covered in paintings in gold gilt frames and the solid oak furniture has do not touch signs resting on it.

Plush Sitting Room

Through a small arch I am at the desk looking for my room key and note. Surprise surprise there isn't one for me. I trot along to the bar where I find a member of staff who tried ringing the manager to no avail. I sit myself down in the leather chesterfield in the oak paneled bar and await my fate, after a few minutes the bar staff returns and tells me just to go and have a wonder and pick any room thats open. This is certainly a new concept I'm thinking. I cant imagine walking into a Hilton and just picking a room based on which ever one was open.

Still I'm tired its been a long day filming and I just want a shower and bed. Wondering the corridors I find a door open on the ground floor and make my self at home. After all the opulence of the entrance and the public areas I am expecting a beautiful room but I was very wrong. This place was defiantly a case of smoke and mirrors.

My room contained two single beds with a single duvet and one pillow. there was no TV, no shower and no toilet. In the corner was a solitary sink and a bin. Where was the luxury? Where was the comfy furniture that had been in all the other rooms? This certainly isn't glamorous.

Mixed Communal Showers

This wasn't what I was expecting at all. Searching the corridor I find a communal toilet and shower room . Tiles and debris lay on the floor of one shower and so that left one to use. On the door hung a sign reading Male in shower and when I turned it over it said Female in shower. Was this really a deterrent to officers of the other sex to not enter or an invitation?

A fellow crew member soon discovered it was a pointless exercise in displaying the sign, after finding the shower empty on their third attempt at showering they changed the sign turned the shower on to warm up and closed the door, running back to their room to collect their wash bag they returned to find their shower now occupied with a member of the opposite sex who must have entered even though it said Female in shower saw it was empty changed the sign and got it.

On the ground floor near the bar was a Ladies powder room which became my toilet of choice as it was guaranteed to be free and clean.

False Fire Alarm
results in Meeting your boss in a dressing gown

In the first week the fire alarm went off in the early hours of the morning 3 times resulting in everyone evacuating the building and waiting for it to be reset. If there is one thing that should never happen whilst working in TV it is to see your boss standing outside in their pyjamas. Making polite convasation at 3am whilst your stood in a dressing gown and slippers with your boss is a very awkward situtation I recommend you avoid at all costs. Still I suppose it was team building!


Being allowed to return home at weekends helped with everyones sanity just those little home comforts you miss but for three months I managed to live with out TV or a nearby toilet, and my own shower. Its amazing how the places in that building that the public see were lavish and sumptuous yet the living accommodation was bleak and less than basic.

Your Working Day is Someone's Working Week

Working in TV is often very long hours, especially as a runner, your working day can easily be 16 hours long thats someone's working week. If you add in travel time them you can easily be hitting 20 hours a day.

Up at 6am, drive to work, stand, carry, drive, and shop all day then tidy up before your drive home. Arrive home for 11pm and bed ready for the same again tomorrow. Its a never ending cycle until you work up the ladder and even then depending on the path you have taken and the job you are working on the hours might not change.

When you start as a runner the wages are poor and you often find yourself taking on other jobs just to get by and saying no to a job often means the phone doesn't ring again. So the need to succeed in the industry spurs you through.

Not long after I started I was doing just this, luckily all my jobs turned out to be in the same building so I didn't have to travel between workplaces. if I had I dont think I would have been able to do it, I only just survived as it was.

Living off Flavia Coffee

My working week started on a Thursday morning at 7.30am and finished on a Tuesday evening at 7pm. During this time I was working on three separate programmes and living off Flavia coffee machines and RedBull.

My Thursday first shift was a regular one. And I was used to the long day and standing. Then there was a call to work on an evening show that was live and ran throughout the night. As long as my normal job was finished by 10pm I couldn't see why I couldn't do both.

So the first Thursday started and I finished my day job by 9pm, nipped back to the car park and sat in my car for an hour then started my evening shift. this was an easy shift in TV runner terms as it only meant carrying all the stuff to studio, setting up the green room and keeping everyone supplied with drinks. The show finished at 3am. Home for a couple of hours sleep and then back for the same again on Friday.

Then Ugly Betty called, they desperately needed an extra pair of hands on a new show they where making and the shifts fitted in around my other jobs so I agreed.

Regularly found asleep in a Chesterfield 

This added a Saturday to Tuesday 9am -7pm onto my other jobs. Knackered isn't the word. I could regularly be found hiding backstage in my down time asleep in a chesterfield, or hidden behind the lift dozing in a chair.

The great thing about the evening stint is that everyone looked after themselves after it was all set up, and so I could easily sneak off for 40 winks. Upstairs on route to the studio the lift opened up in the centre of the room, with mirrors all around. This meant you could sit on a chair behind the lift and when the lift made a noise it would wake you, you could then scan the room to see who was coming as to whether you had to move or could stay hidden away and close your eyes again.

I really dont recommend it to anyone after the shoot had finished 6 weeks later I was fit for nothing. Although the extra money was good, it didn't really further my career. and that is what you have to ask yourself. Is it worth it? Will it get me further along the media Path I want to take. If the answer is no then let another runner take the job. You dont know what opportunities you will miss by taking the work, when the call could come in offering something you really want to do.

From a usb stick to a shredder

Being able to use technology is very important from a usb stick to a shredder, photocopier to various mobile phone devices. If you can use these as a runner then you will soon move up the ranks.

Whilst not being able to operate some of these wont hinder your work, breaking some might cause you to be relegated to the tea making and simple tasks.

Stop breaking the shredder

Not your home office shredder

Stop will tell you all about this, so far in their career as a runner they have managed to break 15 shredders, and these aren't your simple home office shredder these are industrial office strength machines that will take a hell of a battering before they give up the ghost. Banned from office tasks Stop is now relegated to Chief of Felicitations.
I was forever being asked to pop upstairs to fix them after people had jammed them with too much paper. After unplugging from the wall and poking about with a letter opener a quick tug and twist the jam would free and the machine would limp back into life.

Broken Shredder

As you can imagine these machines cost a lot of money and as productions have to destroy everything due to data protection and secrecy breaking them can cost a production dearly.

The Photocopier was my nemesis I was forever fixing the thing after it jammed or simply refused to work, wondering round the whole studios with a script, a reel of coloured paper and a heavy duty stapler, in the hunt for a working machine. Finally finding myself with 13 minutes to print 30 scripts and deliver them to the relevant people in time for rehearsal. It was a tall task but most of the time I made it. The excitement of a new photocopier being delivered was too much the new way to programme them and the new menus, meaning the Coordinators would have to write up instructions for everyone to use it.

So if you want to start off in TV learning the basics of Office admin or at least how to use a photocopier is essential to a quick transition up the ranks.

Being a runner doesn't mean you have to actually run.

Being a runner doesn't mean you have to actually run. Although on some occasions it maybe necessary. 

No running

You get asked to do the most random things. Mostly shopping and standing in for people so rehearsals can go ahead.

As I've told you before I met Stop whilst working on an afternoon chat show and they where assaulted by Nancy lam. Since then Stop has taken running at times quite literally. 

Don't run in the studio

Always running everywhere and always being told "Don't run in the studio." "Stop running" but it wasn't till a shopping trip that Stop realised that being a runner didn't mean you had to run everywhere. 

Sent out with a shopping list and an envelope of cash Stop left the studio, ran across town to the chemist, purchased the first product on the list and rounded the corner to Primarni. 

Having been sent out to purchase a birthday cake, gift and joke present for a member of staff from the office. Stop was on a mission to get it all as quick as possible and make it back to the studio in order to make a good impression of speed and responsibility.

Running around the store Stop purchased the vouchers and made for the door. As they ran down the street a hand grasped their shoulder and grappled them to the floor. 

Grappled to the floor

A large man in a fluorescent jacket loomed over radio in hand. " I have them." the radio crackles and Stop looks up " Can we ask you back to the store please we would like to search you". 

Dragged back to Primarni Stop was taken to an office and asked to empty their pockets. Having made a run out of the store Stop had raised the attention of the store security guard as having obviously stolen something from the store. Why else would anyone be fleeing the store at pace?

Looking rather red faced not at the running but the fact they had to reveal the contents of their pocket Stop tried to explain, " I was just doing my job!, I needed to get to Tesco and buy a cake then get back to work." 

This wasnt good enough for the security team who still demanded they empty their pockets. Slowly stop removed the primary voucher and receipt from their pocket, and envelope of cash, the shopping list and a reaching back into the cavernous hole that was Stops pocket a small tube wrapped in a receipt from the chemist was placed slowly on the desk. Not being able to look at the men in the room in eye with embarrassment the joke present lay on the desk.

Tube of Lube

What is Stop doing running from a Primarni store with a pocket full of lube and a gift voucher? The security staff of the store will never be able to tell anyone the story and have them believe it but it's true. They had stopped a person who hadn't taken anything but as a job had to run around town with a pocket of lube and buy a cake! 

Returning to the studio rather red faced Voucher and Lube in hand, Stop realised that being a runner didn't mean you have to run.

Isn't It Ironic?

Many of you will know that I am petrified of dogs. They are evil, no matter what size or shape they come in they are all evil.
Many of you will have read Will Feeding the Lambs make up for the dog licking you? and laughed but for me this is a serious thing.

Dogs Teeth

Firstly have you seen their teeth!! Sharp and just waiting to clamp down on that juicy arm or leg of yours. And trust me they will if they get the chance!

He wont hurt you!

Its always the same I go into someone's house see a dog, freeze, and they always say. Oh are you scared? don't be he's lovely the softest stupidest thing ever, he wont hurt you, and there it is stalking me, growling, spit foaming at its jaw.

Once whilst stood outside in the cold on location myself and Dimmock where chatting over a cup of tea, next to a van thats back door was slightly ajar. Being on location there always a million vans loading and unloading equipment and stuff so you really don't bat an eyelid at these sorts of things.

So there we where chatting away when i Hear a growl right behind my head. Now we where on a paranormal show at the time but still we where outside and the only thing behind me was a van so where was this noice coming from?

42 Sharp pointy teeth 

I look at Dimmock who is looking shocked and trying to tell me something. There is a smell of rotten meat wafting into my nose and I can feel the heat from the breath on the back of my head. My heart has stopped. Dimmock is leaning forward and grabbing my arm, pulling me towards them. I slowly turn my head, to become face to face with 42 sharp pointy teeth growling at me. Panic sets in, and I don't know what to do. Dimmock is trying to pull me away, to protect me, but I'm frozen to the spot. I am about to be eaten by a monster and my last living breath will be in a disused mental asylum.

Suddenly a voice shouts "Stand Still!". Thats alright then because I cant move anyway, I'm thinking. I'm about to be ripped apart by a dog and I'm being told to stand still. I instantly realise I'm screaming. the dog is growling in my face and all I'm doing is screaming back at it! Thats really going to protect me!

Immediately the growling stops and the dog sits back down inside the van. Maybe my screaming did help?

maybe my screaming did protect me!

From behind a short stocky man appears an moves me to the side walks over to the van and slips a lead on the dog takes him out of the van and walks him towards me! Is he MAD? Dimmock steps in front of me and shields me as the dog handler explains he is the site security and he left the door open so the dog had some air. He didn't realise people would be stood around there. I've certainly learnt my lesson there, never stand next to and open van.

After all this I went to work on a show about a lucky dog! on this occasion it was a statue so I thought I would be ok, until the presenter of the show had to rescue me in the park when a dog owner had let theirs off the lead and it came running straight at me. No one else in the crew just me!! I'm holding a camera and a tripod and I cant just drop them and run, luckily The Presenter stepped forward and scooped the little dog away before the owner put it back on a lead. Informing me that dogs where going to be banned from the park soon! Couldn't be soon enough in my books!

Oh the Irony! dressed as a dog.

From there to a children's art show where Whippet had to rescue me a number of times, until it came to the final day of filming. The whole team had to be involved dressed as various characters. A few days before the costumes arrve inthe office and the arre divvied up according to their sizes, wizards, cavemen, teddy bears, a monkey, a lobster and a cat.  Everyone is handed costumes then it comes to me, the costume the Series producer has picked for me is a DOG! Oh the irony!





I spend the afternoon dressed as a dog in a field directing 50 children and adults around, then have to dance with a circle! Isn't TV Glamorous!