N for........Knickers

In this industry I have done a number of jobs. mostly to pay the bills, but its always good to have a few strings to your bow especially up north where there are quiet periods for work.

One of the many strings to my bow is Coordinating, I think it comes from my army childhood upbringing and the fact I like to have things organised and boss people about!

Coordinating is  dark art and you need a number of different skills to be really good at it.

The first thing is a good telephone manner, this is key as a lot of things you do are down the phone, be it negotiating a good deal, directing people to places or chasing up things that you need.

One coordinator I worked with didn't quite master the art of answering the phone right away, this lead to numerous occasions were the office where crying with laughter and would ring them just to see the panic in their eyes at the thought of having to answer the phone.

"Ive got to book a taxi to Ramsgate." one colleague said out load just before the coordinators phone rang.

Panicking they answered the phone...."Hello Ramsgate" cue bewildered faces all looking in their direction, "erm sorry hello?"!



"Hi I'm calling from a TV show oh hang on did I call you or did you call me?"

N for Knickers

When ordering stuff you always have to give your post code and this throws up another sticking point, do you know your phonetic alphabet? there is always that moment when they ask "And the post code?"... Your mind goes blank and you cant think of the words "erm... N for......" .... think, ......think "erm N for......Knickers"?! then its in your head your embarrassed that you got it wrong and all you can think of is swear words and rude ones too. "W for" (w***er is all that is in your head, why did you say knickers? your such a w***er) "erm.... WINDOW" arrrr thats it got there in the end.

Negotiating the best deal possible is always good, the TV industry never has any money (or says it doesn't) those at the top seem to have lots and those and the bottom have none. So the production managers are always asking you to get things as cheap as possible. this means it breaks easily and you have to then get another one so its a false economy but it satisfies everyone when you come in under budget.

Phonetic Alphabet

Ordering people about is my favourite part and having worked as a runner for a very long time I think I have earnt the right to boss people around and get them to do the dirty jobs once in a while! But there are ways to get this done nicely. With a smile and a Please can you just.... and a thank you after gets you far. It gets the job done and also gains you a little respect as they don't think you are just bossing them around!

So lessons in Coordinating are, Have a good telephone manner, practise your Phonetic alphabet, have a sob story to save money, and always be polite it gets the job done quicker!

I have never taken a motorway exit at 80mph

It was great being a runner and under 25 it meant that you didn't have to drive the hire cars. The only down side is the fact someone else was and not always competently!

smallest car

As a runner I have driven many a hire car and they always come in one extreme or the other. Either the company is trying to save as much money as possible and you end up with the worlds smallest car or your expected to drive everyone around and you get a MPV. there rarely is a middle ground.

There's the old joke isn't there "What's the fastest car?..... A hire Car!" well it certainly isn't any hire car I have driven. I recently had a Vauxhall corsa hired to me for work, I predominately had to use it to get to and from the big cities on the motorway. There was just me and my friend Whippet (I'll explain the name in my next blog) so a small car wasn't a problem to get everyone in, the only problem was with my foot to the floor trying to join the motorway was a life threatening situation. My own car is a moderate one and easily handles the speed required to drive anywhere, this hire car however had clearly never heard of 70mph. With whippet clung to the dashboard eyes closed it would have been easier if the footwells disappeared and like Fred Flintstone and we could run.

Legs out the footwells to go anywhere!

Before I was 25 though it was no safer. On one job we where traveling in an MPV to Wales. It was a cold October and raining. My best friend Dimmock  (after meeting my aging Grandparent they announced she looked like Charlie Dimmock, she doesn't and they are going blind but still!) and I were in the back and the window wipers were working flat out. The runner driving although had passed their test many years ago lived in a city centre and didn't have a car. Not used to driving let alone driving a MPV full of people the journey was never going to go well. Ugly betty was already on location and waiting for our arrival. With no Sat Nav it was a miracle we where heading in the right direction.  Heading down the motorway rain lashing down Dimmock and myself began to look at each other in horror as we swerved violently between lanes the driver not even looking round to check it was safe. Turning the wheel suddenly as if driving a rally car we where thrown around in our seats.
abruptly we flew off the motorway round a sharp bend almost rolling the MPV, as the window wiper flew off Dimmock and I closed our eyes and held hands, this was our moment, this is how we were going to die!
No we where just leaving the motorway this was our exit! I have never taken a motorway exit at 80mph and will never be doing so again. Heart in my mouth I looked at Dimmock and nearly cried. As the journey continued in the same violent manor Dimmock reached for her phone. sending a message to Ugly Betty "We are all about to die!"

Finally shaking and without minus a window wiper we arrived on set, Ugly Betty greeting us with news that they had put another runner on the insurance and they would now drive!

Hire cars do have a benefit though, you get to test drive lots of cars and know which ones not to buy for yourself!